Originally Posted Feb 24, 2010
Past few months I kind of sort of fell for somebody else, briefly. It started off good and I was thinking ok, well he seems mature, he’s the same age, honest, grounded, and somebody that might actually be different than the average guy. He professed the same tale of "I’m not like other men; don’t put me in the same group; I’m not a player", etc. It is so amazing men always proclaim “I’m not like other men”. Some of us Women (me included) just want to believe in somebody. Many women have been lied too, deceived, manipulated, and used a huge portion of their life. But with each encounter or getting to know someone you feel a little hopeful that maybe your time has come. I mean it happens for others why not you? You know your worth, morality, and spirit while realizing you’re not perfect but you can offer a lot to a man. Personally, I think I am the best person I know. I have the biggest heart, very forgiving, loving, trusting, and sweet. I don’t typically bring drama unless it’s provoked.
My feelings for the “new guy” were pretty deep. I cared for him a lot. I even thought I could have loved him. Then we slowed our relationship down because of another incident involving a female and my feelings diminished some during that period. Recently we hooked up and saw each other and had an awesome time together. The very next weekend I found out he was out with someone else. The whole time we were slowing things down he claimed there was nobody else. When I questioned him about this I was told “I was out of line” and “it wasn’t what I thought”, etc. It got kind of ugly!
What galls me about him and some men is when you discover they’ve lied or done something inappropriate and you approach them (sometimes it could be in anger or just simply trying to talk) and they FLIP THE "F"ING SWITCH. Eddie Murphy gave a perfect example when he said in Raw “It wasn’t me.. and if you gonna let a fuck come between our love, there’s something really wrong happening here baby”. Some (I would argue Most) men blow up as if you don’t have a RIGHT to be upset when you’ve been lied too. They don’t care if they been caught their desire is for you to NEVER bring it up, shut your mouth, sit down, and pretend it didn’t happen. That amazes me because men will manipulate you into thinking you’re the one who is irrational or totally out of line by throwing a grown up temper tantrum or saying things like “see this is why I knew this wasn’t gonna work”. They try to make you question your own common sense and reasoning. Sometimes it works because you start thinking well maybe I’m being negative, it wasn’t all that bad anyway, I mean we haven’t been bonding lately, or maybe it isn’t what I thought? Some Men can’t handle the truth, literally. When it comes to conflict and issues some Men have a tendency to avoid, run, or FLIP THE "F"ING SWITCH. If it wasn’t so appalling I would find it amusing.
My relationship/friendship (whatever you want to call it) has ended with the “new guy” and it does sadden me some because it didn’t have to end that way. But as I like to always say “I’m still breathing, blessed and beautiful” and I also have other options.
This is for the Men: JUST BE HONEST! If you are still trying to date others and keeping your options open because you’re trying to make good decisions that is ok and completely normal. No one says you HAVE to be in a committed relationship but don’t pretend there is no one else when your sexually active with one woman and know she has feelings for you. Women appreciate and admire an honest man even if it hurts. Men need to give women the option to make wise decisions based on true intentions vs. foolish decisions based on fiction. If she doesn’t want to accept all that you have to offer or not willing to offer so what; you’re playing the field anyway you have other options. So what’s the point in lying?
My feelings for the “new guy” were pretty deep. I cared for him a lot. I even thought I could have loved him. Then we slowed our relationship down because of another incident involving a female and my feelings diminished some during that period. Recently we hooked up and saw each other and had an awesome time together. The very next weekend I found out he was out with someone else. The whole time we were slowing things down he claimed there was nobody else. When I questioned him about this I was told “I was out of line” and “it wasn’t what I thought”, etc. It got kind of ugly!
What galls me about him and some men is when you discover they’ve lied or done something inappropriate and you approach them (sometimes it could be in anger or just simply trying to talk) and they FLIP THE "F"ING SWITCH. Eddie Murphy gave a perfect example when he said in Raw “It wasn’t me.. and if you gonna let a fuck come between our love, there’s something really wrong happening here baby”. Some (I would argue Most) men blow up as if you don’t have a RIGHT to be upset when you’ve been lied too. They don’t care if they been caught their desire is for you to NEVER bring it up, shut your mouth, sit down, and pretend it didn’t happen. That amazes me because men will manipulate you into thinking you’re the one who is irrational or totally out of line by throwing a grown up temper tantrum or saying things like “see this is why I knew this wasn’t gonna work”. They try to make you question your own common sense and reasoning. Sometimes it works because you start thinking well maybe I’m being negative, it wasn’t all that bad anyway, I mean we haven’t been bonding lately, or maybe it isn’t what I thought? Some Men can’t handle the truth, literally. When it comes to conflict and issues some Men have a tendency to avoid, run, or FLIP THE "F"ING SWITCH. If it wasn’t so appalling I would find it amusing.
My relationship/friendship (whatever you want to call it) has ended with the “new guy” and it does sadden me some because it didn’t have to end that way. But as I like to always say “I’m still breathing, blessed and beautiful” and I also have other options.
This is for the Men: JUST BE HONEST! If you are still trying to date others and keeping your options open because you’re trying to make good decisions that is ok and completely normal. No one says you HAVE to be in a committed relationship but don’t pretend there is no one else when your sexually active with one woman and know she has feelings for you. Women appreciate and admire an honest man even if it hurts. Men need to give women the option to make wise decisions based on true intentions vs. foolish decisions based on fiction. If she doesn’t want to accept all that you have to offer or not willing to offer so what; you’re playing the field anyway you have other options. So what’s the point in lying?
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