Originally posted - Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I haven’t written in this blog since I created it. I often wonder what would be the point. It seemed good at the moment. Considering I keep a diary/journal in a word document what benefit would writing in this blog have? My diary is for me yet this blog is for you. Then I think will anyone care; isn’t this rather presumptuous to assume someone may actually give a damn about a complete stranger life? The flip side is you tend to follow others lives so why not mine. All I can say is I hope I don’t bore you to death.
Men are the most troubling people in my life. They have bought me the most pain yet I continue to seek comfort, security and peace from them. Then again; don’t all women? I think it is quite natural to want a man in your life. I get really tired of the women who harp all the time on “you don’t need a man”. You don’t need a man that is actually correct. Then again you don’t need to wear panties everyday but it sure is more comfortable for me. I don’t need to add butter on my food but it sure taste better. Women need to stop apologizing or thinking it’s a sign of weakness because you want a man. I will be the first to admit I want a man in my life. At the young age of 43 I would like to have someone to grow old with, watch stupid late night talk shows and laugh, hold hands in public, hang out with other couples, try out new restaurants and go to the movies. I want someone to wake up to every morning and cuddle with every night. As of today, Dec 2, 2009. I just can’t seem to get it right or I am just picking the wrong guys? My biggest problem is I sincerely want to believe the best in everybody. I think I am street smart and some men make it real obvious they are no good. But then again you have some clever ones out there too that are patient, say all the right things, and act like perfect gentlemen. Then after they “hit it” the attention fades and the phone calls stop usually within a week. How do you detect those guys? I’m not one to give myself quickly so I usually give a guy that I am really interested in a few months before intimacy takes place. I think I have them read right and then that happens. Well to be honest it only happened twice in my life. Twice in my life with Men that I actually had real attraction, desire and interest. I don't profess to be a saint. There have been Men that I "hit it and quit it" on too. Maybe it's Karma, Damn! Now I’m afraid to give a man a chance thinking he will do the same thing. Feeling like a fool or being played does not feel good at all. This is really sensitive to me because the two times I speak of happened this year. First one happen the earlier part of the year and the other just recently. It’s ironic because these two men were the ONLY men I really gave a chance and was really interested in. There were other guys I may have gone out with on occasions but I was never really attracted or wanted to see us grow long term. But these two guys I was already looking ahead and imagining a future with. The good thing about it is no real love had formed yet with both of these men. The first guy works in my building so the biggest fear I had with him was running into him again. I felt like he would laugh at me and think STUPID!. By time I did it was awkward the first 2 times, 3rd, 4th and other times it was fine. I didn’t wallow in self pity too long and I had gotten over it. Now when I run into him I give a gentle smile and a nod and keep it moving. There are no feelings left so it’s all good. The second guy I barely think of him. I don't know if it's denial or I'm getting stronger? I am just glad they both showed me who they really are before I completely fell. One of God greatest gifts is Time. Time to heal, time to love and time to live. Thank you Jesus! Angela's signing off for now feel free to read me again.
Men are the most troubling people in my life. They have bought me the most pain yet I continue to seek comfort, security and peace from them. Then again; don’t all women? I think it is quite natural to want a man in your life. I get really tired of the women who harp all the time on “you don’t need a man”. You don’t need a man that is actually correct. Then again you don’t need to wear panties everyday but it sure is more comfortable for me. I don’t need to add butter on my food but it sure taste better. Women need to stop apologizing or thinking it’s a sign of weakness because you want a man. I will be the first to admit I want a man in my life. At the young age of 43 I would like to have someone to grow old with, watch stupid late night talk shows and laugh, hold hands in public, hang out with other couples, try out new restaurants and go to the movies. I want someone to wake up to every morning and cuddle with every night. As of today, Dec 2, 2009. I just can’t seem to get it right or I am just picking the wrong guys? My biggest problem is I sincerely want to believe the best in everybody. I think I am street smart and some men make it real obvious they are no good. But then again you have some clever ones out there too that are patient, say all the right things, and act like perfect gentlemen. Then after they “hit it” the attention fades and the phone calls stop usually within a week. How do you detect those guys? I’m not one to give myself quickly so I usually give a guy that I am really interested in a few months before intimacy takes place. I think I have them read right and then that happens. Well to be honest it only happened twice in my life. Twice in my life with Men that I actually had real attraction, desire and interest. I don't profess to be a saint. There have been Men that I "hit it and quit it" on too. Maybe it's Karma, Damn! Now I’m afraid to give a man a chance thinking he will do the same thing. Feeling like a fool or being played does not feel good at all. This is really sensitive to me because the two times I speak of happened this year. First one happen the earlier part of the year and the other just recently. It’s ironic because these two men were the ONLY men I really gave a chance and was really interested in. There were other guys I may have gone out with on occasions but I was never really attracted or wanted to see us grow long term. But these two guys I was already looking ahead and imagining a future with. The good thing about it is no real love had formed yet with both of these men. The first guy works in my building so the biggest fear I had with him was running into him again. I felt like he would laugh at me and think STUPID!. By time I did it was awkward the first 2 times, 3rd, 4th and other times it was fine. I didn’t wallow in self pity too long and I had gotten over it. Now when I run into him I give a gentle smile and a nod and keep it moving. There are no feelings left so it’s all good. The second guy I barely think of him. I don't know if it's denial or I'm getting stronger? I am just glad they both showed me who they really are before I completely fell. One of God greatest gifts is Time. Time to heal, time to love and time to live. Thank you Jesus! Angela's signing off for now feel free to read me again.
Originally Posted by Ms. Angela's Stuff at 11:40 AM
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