Originally Posted - Wednesday, March 9, 2011
This past weekend I moved (Feb 26th). I had to move some furniture out of storage and move them to the kid’s townhome because I decided not to keep them. In addition, I needed to move some of my personal items to my new place. So I asked my ex-boyfriend to help me. I asked his assistance for several reasons: 1) Relying on my two sons to do it would have taken all day; no offense Terrell and David. 2) He is good at organizing moves. 3) He is quick about it and 4) is the only person I know that could put my bed together. Believe me my bed (that I took to the kids) is complicated as hell and he has put it together every time I’ve moved. I was grateful he said he would help considering we hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. None the less; as expected things went great.
What even went better was the realization that I am COMPLETELY over this guy and God it feels wonderful. My kids will beg to differ; because every time I would announce we are over; the eyes would roll and they would say “yeah right Mom”. My smart mouth daughter would ask me every time I went out on a date “does Ted know about this”? But for real for real it’s over. Finally after years of praying to God to give me the strength to move past a relationship that bought me more pain than joy, more chaos than peace, and more dishonesty than truth I’ve been delivered, Praise Jesus.
I’ve known for over a year or so that I’d fallen out of love with him but still stayed in it out of habit or attachment. Since the final decision to let him go I wake up every morning feeling at peace. I feel like that 1,000 pound weight of a continuous broken heart has been lifted from my chest and I can breathe freely. This is how I know I am completely over him. When I saw him walk out to the car when I picked him up Saturday from this girl he is involved with apartment complex I smiled so hard to myself because I had no feelings of want, desire, longing for his touch or none of that. I just said a quiet praise of thanks to God for getting me to that point. Later, when I dropped him off at her place it didn’t bother me or make me feel sad. I drove off, turned up my music, giggling in my spirit and had a wonderful ride back to my new place.
Later that night he called saying I love and miss you crap. I told him thanks I appreciate that and hung up. I don’t know what his definition of love is but a woman in a clear state of reality knows when a man is in love with her because he shows certain behaviors such as respect, honesty, gentleness, care, and will find time to be with you because he desires you. If all those behaviors in addition to others are not present it is not love. He may care for you but he is not in love with you.
Anytime you can roll over in bed at night and don’t think about, care about, stress about what he/she is doing that night or if there with someone else; but just fall to sleep you know you are over someone. It has been that way with him for awhile now. God is good because that relationship took me through some things. One of the things I’ve learned from it is that God gives us the ability to move past all things. It may take some time but we will get through it and overcome it. Why we hold onto relationships that are emotionally and spiritually damaging and draining is a mystery but we do it and I am not the only one guilty of it. Once I came to the realization that some men are just not “relationship ready” and that it was nothing wrong with me I was able to let go. I’ve had 2 great loves in my life and another thing I’ve learned is if I can get over them I can get over anybody. So I will try not to be afraid to really love again. Life’s too short, live and love while you can you may not get another opportunity.
What even went better was the realization that I am COMPLETELY over this guy and God it feels wonderful. My kids will beg to differ; because every time I would announce we are over; the eyes would roll and they would say “yeah right Mom”. My smart mouth daughter would ask me every time I went out on a date “does Ted know about this”? But for real for real it’s over. Finally after years of praying to God to give me the strength to move past a relationship that bought me more pain than joy, more chaos than peace, and more dishonesty than truth I’ve been delivered, Praise Jesus.
I’ve known for over a year or so that I’d fallen out of love with him but still stayed in it out of habit or attachment. Since the final decision to let him go I wake up every morning feeling at peace. I feel like that 1,000 pound weight of a continuous broken heart has been lifted from my chest and I can breathe freely. This is how I know I am completely over him. When I saw him walk out to the car when I picked him up Saturday from this girl he is involved with apartment complex I smiled so hard to myself because I had no feelings of want, desire, longing for his touch or none of that. I just said a quiet praise of thanks to God for getting me to that point. Later, when I dropped him off at her place it didn’t bother me or make me feel sad. I drove off, turned up my music, giggling in my spirit and had a wonderful ride back to my new place.
Later that night he called saying I love and miss you crap. I told him thanks I appreciate that and hung up. I don’t know what his definition of love is but a woman in a clear state of reality knows when a man is in love with her because he shows certain behaviors such as respect, honesty, gentleness, care, and will find time to be with you because he desires you. If all those behaviors in addition to others are not present it is not love. He may care for you but he is not in love with you.
Anytime you can roll over in bed at night and don’t think about, care about, stress about what he/she is doing that night or if there with someone else; but just fall to sleep you know you are over someone. It has been that way with him for awhile now. God is good because that relationship took me through some things. One of the things I’ve learned from it is that God gives us the ability to move past all things. It may take some time but we will get through it and overcome it. Why we hold onto relationships that are emotionally and spiritually damaging and draining is a mystery but we do it and I am not the only one guilty of it. Once I came to the realization that some men are just not “relationship ready” and that it was nothing wrong with me I was able to let go. I’ve had 2 great loves in my life and another thing I’ve learned is if I can get over them I can get over anybody. So I will try not to be afraid to really love again. Life’s too short, live and love while you can you may not get another opportunity.
Originally Posted by Ms. Angela's Stuff at 11:23 AM
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